Intense love, Intense hatred.....

We recently did a study on love. The Greek word used for love in the Amnon Tamar rape, someone said...must be a misprint. Amnon hated her more than he loved her.

These are striking words. I know that everyone takes the side of the one who was raped. True. And so they should. Its horrific what Amnon did. Full stop. End of story. Rape is vile.

I would like to address the very quick change of emotions. From love to hate. Tamar offered herself in marriage to Amnon. But Amnon refused. Why? Clearly she was ok  to marry Amnon. So why the hatred of Amnon to Tamar?  How can loving someone so much, wanting to be with someone so much, turn to hatred of the person? He loathed her. He didn't want to see her. Why? Why? Why? Why do people one day, one minute, love someone intensely then hate them so much? Love is complex. Complicated. Emotions out of control. But such extremes. I know a person who loved someone so much. Then, couldn't bear to be with the person. They got physically sick.  Why?  If a person feels used or deceived this can cause love to turn to hate. Perhaps people feel that the person they loved so much,  in fact was using them. When you realise someone is using you to survive, doing nothing, you feel used. When you discover someone was withholding information from you, to get what they want, and when you find out, you feel deceived. One was serious in helping, one person was playing a game, to get what they wanted. People use people to get what they want. Money. A career. A job. Genuine, selfless love is so hard to find. People may "play the game" but only for their benefit.  Was Amnon played? Who played who?  When a person finds out they were used, deceived,  so someone  could get something out of them, the person who was used is also humiliated. Maybe all knew the person was used, except for the person.  Maybe all were laughing at the person who did not know. Like the youth  laughing at Elijah.  The feelings of deception,  humiliation and being used are very real. But in life, all things will eventually  work out. Sometimes  we wait a long time to realise our mistake.  But then again, the good old saying...if you love someone let them go. If they are meant for you they will come back. Again, rape is wicked. The SNL is about immediate change of emotions of love to hate.